Loving yourself isn’t something you can just figure out or “try” to do. It is a habit and an action. If you have not truly been loved the way you deserve you are going to struggle to understand how and what loving yourself is. You like having frames of reference and a “how to” guide for everything, however, you won’t have that for love because you never received it in the ways you needed. You feel like you are walking in blind and ready to fall off a cliff trying to understand something foreign to you. It’s like you have crumbs of understanding and pieces of ideas of love but no real place to start. You have to start with rebuilding a relationship with yourself and relearn what love actually is. You love so deeply, but have rarely been loved with the same ferocity and intensity that you give to others. Love has always felt conditional for you so the love you give yourself also comes with conditions. You tell yourself maybe you can love yourself when you are thin enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, enough, enough, and enough. You are enough. You can’t properly love yourself with conditions.
